Do you ever fight over his stuff and your stuff- moving and fighting about what to trash?
31 Jan 2010
OK- here how it started. I went through my bookshelf and got rid of anything extra I didn’t need. I actually brought the books to work and gave them away. I ask my husband to go through his books- he refuses. We have a giant fight and I end up doing it for him and he throws a fit. He has books that are damaged, stained and disgusting… and he has all these books on religions and spiritual stuff- HE HATES religion and never goes to any type of church. So why keep them? This leads into a fight about these terrible african mask he has…. they were made in china and they are ugly. They have been sitting in the crawl space for 3 years and he goes banana’s when I ask if he is ready to part with them. He starts freaking out that everything is my stuff and I toss all of his. I toss a lot of mine but I owned a house and he only had an apartment when we met. He then started going on about how I tossed out his shelves- which were falling apart and in really bad shape. I even painted them and tried to reuse them but they fell apart. He then started comparing a lamp that I tossed that he paid $10 from Kmart that was damanged to my 100 year old $2,000 lamps that I replaced them with. I’ll let him buy anything he wants for the house- he picked out the living room rug… but that doesn’t count. He is obessed with holding on to trash from his single life. How do I deal with this? We are moving to a house 1/2 the size and my reasoning is- keep the $$$$$ get rid of the stuff from kmart, walmart and hand me downs. We don’t have room for all this junk- and I agreed to keep all his childhood toys and useless glass jugs that use to hold beer. He actually tried to compare my antique teacup collection to jugs that he got for free that use to hold beer in them.
He told me to sell the mask on ebay but flipped out again when I told him they were on there for like 99 cents- and I don’t think that his mask are from Africa- they are china rip offs. He starts flipping out- and I ask if he paid a lot of money for them- and he only paid a few bucks!
But then tells me I am expert on everything!!!!
What the HELL is his problem?
PS- I tossed (to give to goodwill) books out that were in langagues that neither of us speak!!!
He knows we can’t afford storage and just starts bitching.
Here is an example- I have a set of brand new dishes- his set is broken and mismatched. Which do you keep? It’s a no brainer for me but he keeps flipping out?
I have fine china for my hutch- I won’t put regular plates in there. I would never eat off of mismatch plates. TACKY!
I am getting rid of a lot of my stuff as well- but it’s worth $$$ so I have been selling it on ebay.
lol it’s a common problem….
You must learn the 2 wife-ly art forms…..Sneakery & Mis-direction…..
For example,
My darling bught before we married a livingroom suite…..he did the logical thing since he cannot decorate when he purchased a ’showcase’ from Rooms-To-Go……smart since the pieces (sofa, easy chair, love seat, two end tables for the love seat and two for the sofa, coffee table, table and floor lamps , sofa table, were all co-ordinated. To this he added a large t.v., surround sound & stand, and two 8 foot tall book cases.
They all do ‘go’ together……problem is, he never measured the room.
And the peices are all oversized……
..the livingroom is small.
So he placed the t.v against one wall, the easy chair & a coffee table & end table on the opposite wall and all the other peices kinda sorta found some place…looked like a furniture warehouse had exploded. And refused to change anything.
LOL.
Now, the master bedroom…..he had the suite his mother had bought him….when he was 14….he was 55 when I married him….
LOL.
Before we married we had agreed on what furniture of mine we would use and what peices of his…..and of course the second bedroom HAD to be cleaned out (he was using it as a junk room…..don;t ask)
His china was paper plates , he had one place setting to eat with and three old pots (he ate out or bought take out ;cause he can’t cook)
The only things he collected (still does) are DVD’s…okay.
Thru sneakery & misdirection I got ride of all 4 end tables (cheap stuff & too big, ugly faux blonde wood) and the coffee table, the love seat, lamps, and the nasty t.v stand by donating them to the friend who just divorced and had nothing (it appealed to the do-gooder in him) and from the monies I got from the sale of my home we purchased ONLY 2 end tables & a coffee table that he really loved. (black wrought iron with blue slate tops….perfect with his dark blue leather sofa/easy chair) he loves my dark oak entertainment center witht the lighted glass cabinettes, especialy when I suggested turning one of them into a ‘liquor display cabinette’ for all my glasses and his booze collection. I painted the sofa table black-it looks very sharp and he loves it.
He loves Bonanza….I already had an antique brass bed….I suggested bedroom furniture more in keeping with the Ponderosa…my treat of course….the eyes lit up and now instead of faux pine falling apart danish modern we have solid golden oak country rustic pieces that Ben Cartwright would be proud to own lol….
other things…..the tacky vinyl shower curtain ‘cracked’ and had to be replaced (hehe)….and you know mis-matched china can ‘accidently’ break until there are too few peices left (d@mn that dish washer….) then a new everyday set can be purchased and occasionally stuff can be ‘misplaced’…….
And then you have to let the poor dear keep some of his treasures-neatly packed away….as long as they aren;t staring you in the face every day, it’s okay. Even if it’s in a box under the bed or the back of a closet……as long as he has some say in stuff you can with careful maneuvering (all us females know how, m’dear) get what you want, or almost what you want and make him think it was all his idea in the first place!
Good luck.


